For those who were wondering, I did complete my trip. I got back into Raleigh yesterday, my body sore and the rest of my being tired but happy for the adventure, and better for it. I spent today collecting my thoughts, putting away my gear and generally getting back to normal life.
I will have posts for each day of my trip but it'll take a few days to get those in order. I promise I will post them before I forget all the details.
I had a lot of questions in my mind before I started. I don't have fewer questions now but I have a bit more direction. I've made decisions on a few of the questions I've been avoiding for years. As importantly I came to the conclusion that the avoidance I use so artfully isn't really practical. Bad dreams kept in the corners of memory have a way of finding light when you start cleaning.
Anyway, the more interesting parts are coming... both from the trip and otherwise.
KP
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 7
July 22: Shenandoah National Park, VA to Home, Raleigh, NC
miles: 278
time: 8 hours
The final day of my trip was mostly about getting home. I did extend the trip a bit by riding to the southern end of Shenandoah rather than split off early. I didn't spend much time in Charlottesville, VA because it was too early for lunch and nothing really peaked my curiosity. I probably should have ventured a little more around the downtown but I was preoccupied with the impending end to my trip.
I did take some time to visit Clarksville, VA. Tom mentioned it was one of his favorite little towns, probably a good place to retire. It was nice but the only place I really stopped was the Subway sandwich place.
I have a bit of a quandary about eating when I'm riding. I am a little road worn, at least after the first few days of the trip. The laundry I have on hand has pretty much been washed in a bucket or as best I can. There are inevitably bugs stuck to me somewhere. So based on my appearance I don't feel like sullying the reputation of a nice restaurant. Not to mention the reservations I have about eating out alone (I'm not ashamed to say it is uncomfortable to eat alone, I have talked to plenty of people who feel the same way). On the other hand I'm travelling on a bike that bounces and jostles and there can be a few miles between appropriate rest facilities so I try to be careful not to eat anything too greasy as fast and diner food can be. I also try to outlaw fast-food because it is just too easy, it would be easy to fall into eating that for 3 meals a day when out on the road. That leaves me with some limited options. Anybody have any ideas on this? Should I just man-up and eat wherever I want? It might be one of those things that gets easier with practice.
So my trip has ended and that is a little sad. Time to unload my bike and move on, start thinking about my next adventure. But I have a bunch of things that come with me. I don't buy souvenirs when I go on trips because they are silly trinkets, just distractions to the things I really take with me.
miles: 278
time: 8 hours
The final day of my trip was mostly about getting home. I did extend the trip a bit by riding to the southern end of Shenandoah rather than split off early. I didn't spend much time in Charlottesville, VA because it was too early for lunch and nothing really peaked my curiosity. I probably should have ventured a little more around the downtown but I was preoccupied with the impending end to my trip.
I did take some time to visit Clarksville, VA. Tom mentioned it was one of his favorite little towns, probably a good place to retire. It was nice but the only place I really stopped was the Subway sandwich place.
I have a bit of a quandary about eating when I'm riding. I am a little road worn, at least after the first few days of the trip. The laundry I have on hand has pretty much been washed in a bucket or as best I can. There are inevitably bugs stuck to me somewhere. So based on my appearance I don't feel like sullying the reputation of a nice restaurant. Not to mention the reservations I have about eating out alone (I'm not ashamed to say it is uncomfortable to eat alone, I have talked to plenty of people who feel the same way). On the other hand I'm travelling on a bike that bounces and jostles and there can be a few miles between appropriate rest facilities so I try to be careful not to eat anything too greasy as fast and diner food can be. I also try to outlaw fast-food because it is just too easy, it would be easy to fall into eating that for 3 meals a day when out on the road. That leaves me with some limited options. Anybody have any ideas on this? Should I just man-up and eat wherever I want? It might be one of those things that gets easier with practice.
So my trip has ended and that is a little sad. Time to unload my bike and move on, start thinking about my next adventure. But I have a bunch of things that come with me. I don't buy souvenirs when I go on trips because they are silly trinkets, just distractions to the things I really take with me.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 6
July 21: Ricketts Glen State Park, PA to Big Meadows Campground, Shenandoah National Park, VA
miles: 326
time: 8 hours, 30 minutes
So this is my final night of camping for the trip. My camera box is going to serve as my food pantry because it is the best security against bears that I have on the bike. Speaking of bears I saw three today. First, a mom and a cub scurrying across the road up ahead. They looked like shadows crossing the road, just completely black and furry. The next one I came upon coming around a corner. He was pretty big. He took a good look at me and spun around to hop back into the woods.
Today's driving was all about getting to Shenandoah with enough time to take it easy on Skyline Drive. I must have stopped ten times to take pictures and mark the spots on the GPS where I saw the bears.
I did stop at a Turkey Hill to gas up. When I went inside for a sandwich I heard a song a friend of mine liked a long time ago. Made me miss her. Song, Hanson: Penny & Me.
Nice and chilly up here in the mountains, I should sleep well again. I'm thinking about riding all the way down to Rockfish Gap, Route 64 and backtrack into Charlottesville, VA instead of cutting off of Skyline short at 33. I think I have plenty of time even if I stop in Charlottesville, VA and Clarkville, VA for lunch. I don't really need to get in early as I'm just going home. Plus I'm not expected at work until Tuesday.
Friday, July 20, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 5
July 20: Copake Falls, NY to Ricketts Glen State Park, PA
miles: 252
time: 8 hours
The ride through the Catskills was good but cold and windy! My gear dried out but I never got good and warm on the ride. Had dinner early (lunch late?) at Trails End just outside of Ricketts Glen. -Really good strawberry milkshake if you ever get the chance. The burger was good too as indicated by the speed in which I scarfed it down.
On the way I tried to stretch gas at one point and got nervous, ended up looking for the closest based on GPS... darn thing brought me 3 miles on a dirt road as a "shortcut". Half my gear was ready to topple off my bike by the time I bounced onto a real road. Looking back it looks like there might have been a good gas-station 5 miles down the road from where I turned off that the GPS didn't know about. Oh well, I now know my bike will do 130 miles without switching to reserve but I didn't see a whole lot left in the tank when I opened it. (I finally checked the manual and it tells me I have a 4 gallon tank so I should be able to do 150 miles easy.)
I think that's about all for today... it's chilly here, I should sleep well. With any luck I'll be up early to explore some waterfalls around here, I was too sleepy to do it before sunset today, but it looks like tomorrow will be a long day so it might be just as good for me to set out early. I'll have to leave the waterfalls for another trip.
miles: 252
time: 8 hours
The ride through the Catskills was good but cold and windy! My gear dried out but I never got good and warm on the ride. Had dinner early (lunch late?) at Trails End just outside of Ricketts Glen. -Really good strawberry milkshake if you ever get the chance. The burger was good too as indicated by the speed in which I scarfed it down.
On the way I tried to stretch gas at one point and got nervous, ended up looking for the closest based on GPS... darn thing brought me 3 miles on a dirt road as a "shortcut". Half my gear was ready to topple off my bike by the time I bounced onto a real road. Looking back it looks like there might have been a good gas-station 5 miles down the road from where I turned off that the GPS didn't know about. Oh well, I now know my bike will do 130 miles without switching to reserve but I didn't see a whole lot left in the tank when I opened it. (I finally checked the manual and it tells me I have a 4 gallon tank so I should be able to do 150 miles easy.)
I think that's about all for today... it's chilly here, I should sleep well. With any luck I'll be up early to explore some waterfalls around here, I was too sleepy to do it before sunset today, but it looks like tomorrow will be a long day so it might be just as good for me to set out early. I'll have to leave the waterfalls for another trip.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 4
July 19: Bunganut Pond, Alfred, ME to Taconic State Park, Copake Falls, NY
Miles: 265
Time: 8 hours, 45 minutes
After a couple days at the lake I rode this leg with Dad. It rained pretty heavy the second half of the day so riding was a little tough. We toughed it out. Mohawk Mountain on Route 2 was nice bit would have been beautiful and exciting in better weather. Watch out for the hairpin turn outside of North Adams, it's a doozy.
We had pizza for lunch, turns out 14" is too much for two people at lunchtime. The lady with a couple kids who we gave the second half to seemed to appreciate it.
Weather finally let up when we got towards New York, but with the humidity nothing really dried out completely.
Miles: 265
Time: 8 hours, 45 minutes
After a couple days at the lake I rode this leg with Dad. It rained pretty heavy the second half of the day so riding was a little tough. We toughed it out. Mohawk Mountain on Route 2 was nice bit would have been beautiful and exciting in better weather. Watch out for the hairpin turn outside of North Adams, it's a doozy.
We had pizza for lunch, turns out 14" is too much for two people at lunchtime. The lady with a couple kids who we gave the second half to seemed to appreciate it.
Weather finally let up when we got towards New York, but with the humidity nothing really dried out completely.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 3
July 14: Pittsfield, MA to Bunganut Pond, Alfred, ME
Miles: 212
Time: 7 hours
I met Dad just east of Concord, New Hampshire at the Weathervane restaurant. Had a lobster roll, Dad paid.
Pittsfield State Forest was beautiful and pretty quiet. Site 2 up on the mountain is probably the best with close access to the Azalea fields for some photos of the sunset in the evening and it lies right on the lake shore.
As for the ride today, it was pretty uneventful. Rt. 8 was nice. After I met Dad near Concord we tried a little bit of a detour to extend the route, it didn't turn into much but it did extend the riding a little.
Miles: 212
Time: 7 hours
I met Dad just east of Concord, New Hampshire at the Weathervane restaurant. Had a lobster roll, Dad paid.
Pittsfield State Forest was beautiful and pretty quiet. Site 2 up on the mountain is probably the best with close access to the Azalea fields for some photos of the sunset in the evening and it lies right on the lake shore.
As for the ride today, it was pretty uneventful. Rt. 8 was nice. After I met Dad near Concord we tried a little bit of a detour to extend the route, it didn't turn into much but it did extend the riding a little.
Friday, July 13, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 2
July 13: Lewes, DE to Pittsfield State Forest, Pittsfield, MA 
miles: 338
time: 11 hours
What a day. As in "Wow, what a day!"
Last night was a little rough for sleeping because someone in the Cape Henlopen camping area was a big snorer. I don't think it could have been louder. There was also a guy playing video games for a while. Pretty urban camping.
Pittsfield State Forest seems almost opposite: no water, miles from anything. All I am hearing are the bullfrogs.
So, back to today. I started out by taking the Lewes-Cape May Ferry (pronounced Lewis?). It was a great experience, parked my bike at the front and enjoyed the ride. I was on the 10:15 ferry, I got to the terminal at about 9:15 which was late (assuming I had a schedule I was trying to keep :-)... but... did I mention the snoring guy?
From Cape May, N.J. I took the Garden State Parkway north. Not the most fun ride but it gets you there and rural New Jersey actually is kinda nice.
I drove through Patterson and it had some really bad areas and I started wondering what Zumo (the GPS) had gotten us into but then we got to some really nice areas. I stopped for lunch at a little mall area and had a really good Chicken stromboli.
Now getting to the best part. The Seven Lakes area getting to the Bear Mountain Bridge was awesome. Some really scenic, laid-back riding. Just really great. Then the Bear Mountain Bridge was cool and the route right after was phenomenal with a really fun twisty road. Then through some small towns in Connecticut into Massachusetts. I need to look up a few of the towns because they just looked so nice.
Another first for me was taking my bike through a covered bridge.
Up through New Jersey was pretty hot but New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut were much cooler; Connecticut and New York were almost cold! It felt nice.
I also have a pretty good routine now for paying tolls. I have a tin full of change in my pocket and when there is a toll collector I hand over the whole tin and let her get what she needs :-)
The final first, and I'm not even going to let it put a tarnish on the day, was that I dropped my bike getting into my campsite. Normally that would upset me to no end but I'm not going to be ashamed of it, it happens, it happened, 'nuff said. I was crossing a washed out shoulder from the dirt road into my campsite and ended up short-saddling myself, that is ran out of momentum when my legs were over the ditch so I couldn't reach. A mistake, yes, but if you don't push yourself to make mistakes you might as well stay at home watching TV where it is nice and safe. Fortunately this mistake wasn't a big one. I haven't seen any damage yet... The mirror was twisted and the shift lever was bent but I put these back to right without even going into my tool pouch. I also managed to get the bike up and out of the ditch myself, so that is an accomplishment. As far as drops go I'll give that one a 9.0. Oh, and I didn't hurt myself! :-)
So many cool sights I wanted to take pictures of but sometimes you just have to drink in the experience. I must say the smaller Massachusetts towns looked really nice with all kinds of people out on Main street for a Friday evening.
Dinner was Mary Jane's Mac and Cheese- yuk. Cooking the noodle dishes is a bit of an art and clearly I need more practice.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries: Day 1
July 12: Raleigh, North Carolina to Cape Henlopen State Park, Lewes, Deleware
miles: 338
time: 8 hours, 15 minutes
I left Raleigh at about 8:15. Weather was good heading out, not too hot because it was still early. I took a long stop at the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel to get a BLT and some fries and take a few pics. Made camp at Cape Henlopen State Park. Hiked around the park for a few hours taking pictures and such.
Items of note:
First time a dog has chased me on my bike. I twisted on the gas and he missed me.
Found myself on a dirt/gravel road in North Carolina when I missed a turn and GPS tried to get me back on track.
Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel was pretty cool, worth the $12 this time.
At the campground I saw a lady walking a parrot; the lady was walking, not the parrot. The thing was huge.
Forgot to bring a spoon, will have to improvise.
Time to eat... dinner is Sante Fe Pasta by Mary Jane's Farm.
miles: 338
time: 8 hours, 15 minutes
I left Raleigh at about 8:15. Weather was good heading out, not too hot because it was still early. I took a long stop at the Chesapeake Bay Bridge/Tunnel to get a BLT and some fries and take a few pics. Made camp at Cape Henlopen State Park. Hiked around the park for a few hours taking pictures and such.
Items of note:
First time a dog has chased me on my bike. I twisted on the gas and he missed me.
Found myself on a dirt/gravel road in North Carolina when I missed a turn and GPS tried to get me back on track.
Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel was pretty cool, worth the $12 this time.
At the campground I saw a lady walking a parrot; the lady was walking, not the parrot. The thing was huge.
Forgot to bring a spoon, will have to improvise.
Time to eat... dinner is Sante Fe Pasta by Mary Jane's Farm.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries - part III (Eve)
All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go...
I never like the moments of anticipation in life. Right now I'm excited and nervous and the only thing keeping me from getting started on my adventure is time, only a few hours but enough that I need to check my urge to get going. My heart is starting to beat with a little more purpose but what I really need is to get a few hours of sleep under my lids so I'm fresh and ready to get an early start in the morning.
I think I have everything ready. I have packed up the bike as much as I could and I have a list of things I need to pack in the morning... things like ice and cold water that I didn't want to pack early. I'm trying to follow the wisdom, "half the clothes and twice the cash." I threw back a bunch of items I decided weren't necessary. I laugh thinking back how I had pondered taking the tripod. There is no way, I've had to drop more practical items just for lack of space, the tripod would never have made it. I'm glad I decided to leave it behind early on and save myself the headache of trying to make it fit. I have a flint in case I need it so I discarded the matches I usually bring camping. I was going to bring a pair of backup sunglasses but I think I'll just bother with the one. I did keep one frivolous item, a pair of slacks in case I need to dress up just a little.
Have I forgotten anything? I keep asking myself as I always do when I leave for a couple days. I hope I did. What's an adventure if you don't face any obstacles? I'm a compulsive planner; part of that is because I don't trust myself to handle a situation on the spot. It would be a good thing for me to prove to myself that planning can be helpful but it doesn't have to be necessary. One of my fears is that I'll run out of gas somewhere. My bike only gets around 130 miles per tank (small tank) which means I could get myself into a situation where I am out of range if I wait too long to fill up. I could go through all my routes and figure out exactly where I should be filling up. (OK, I did that for a couple locations that looked a little isolated just to make sure I don't miss it.) But for the majority of the trip I'm going to try to rely on my wits to keep my rolling and if I do happen to run low on gas somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere I'm confident I'll be able to work something out. Heaven forbid I actually have to talk to a stranger! ;-)
So wish me luck- the sun on my face and a breeze at my back. I'll let you know how it goes, I can promise it will be interesting.
KP
I never like the moments of anticipation in life. Right now I'm excited and nervous and the only thing keeping me from getting started on my adventure is time, only a few hours but enough that I need to check my urge to get going. My heart is starting to beat with a little more purpose but what I really need is to get a few hours of sleep under my lids so I'm fresh and ready to get an early start in the morning.
I think I have everything ready. I have packed up the bike as much as I could and I have a list of things I need to pack in the morning... things like ice and cold water that I didn't want to pack early. I'm trying to follow the wisdom, "half the clothes and twice the cash." I threw back a bunch of items I decided weren't necessary. I laugh thinking back how I had pondered taking the tripod. There is no way, I've had to drop more practical items just for lack of space, the tripod would never have made it. I'm glad I decided to leave it behind early on and save myself the headache of trying to make it fit. I have a flint in case I need it so I discarded the matches I usually bring camping. I was going to bring a pair of backup sunglasses but I think I'll just bother with the one. I did keep one frivolous item, a pair of slacks in case I need to dress up just a little.
Have I forgotten anything? I keep asking myself as I always do when I leave for a couple days. I hope I did. What's an adventure if you don't face any obstacles? I'm a compulsive planner; part of that is because I don't trust myself to handle a situation on the spot. It would be a good thing for me to prove to myself that planning can be helpful but it doesn't have to be necessary. One of my fears is that I'll run out of gas somewhere. My bike only gets around 130 miles per tank (small tank) which means I could get myself into a situation where I am out of range if I wait too long to fill up. I could go through all my routes and figure out exactly where I should be filling up. (OK, I did that for a couple locations that looked a little isolated just to make sure I don't miss it.) But for the majority of the trip I'm going to try to rely on my wits to keep my rolling and if I do happen to run low on gas somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere I'm confident I'll be able to work something out. Heaven forbid I actually have to talk to a stranger! ;-)
So wish me luck- the sun on my face and a breeze at my back. I'll let you know how it goes, I can promise it will be interesting.
KP
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
The Motorcycle Diaries - part II (Gearing Up)
For the last few weeks I've been (slowly) collecting the gear I'll need for my trip. Pellican waterproof case for the camera, check. Garmin Zūmo GPS receiver, check. Get them both mounted to my bike, check.
But then things started getting complicated. I knew I wanted my tripod. After all, collecting images with my camera is one of the big goals for this trip. I also knew finding a place for the unwieldy tripod was going to be a challenge.
Then I started mapping my route. On my way north I wanted to stick to the coastal route, at least to start. First stop the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. Then up to the Lewes-Cape May ferry across the Delaware River. My goal was to try for about 300 miles per day. Henlopen State Park just before the ferry looked like a good place to stop over. That would mean camping gear and loading that on my bike isn't going to be easy. I do have camping gear but it isn't the best for hiking- ironically camping stuff gets more expensive the smaller and lighter it is. Adding camping gear to the mix meant finding a place for the tripod was going to be an even bigger challenge. Maybe I should get a new hiking specific model? Maybe a GorrilaPod which is a little easier to pack? I started watching the calendar and getting anxious, if I needed more gear I was going to need to order it now.
Then I came to realize I was loosing the point of the trip. So what if I don't have a tripod? I asked myself why I think I need it so badly. If I need a steady shot I'll improvise. If I want to get myself in a picture of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge I'll improvise or I won't get it, it won't matter. The Boy Scout Motto is "Be Prepared". I realized long ago (although I find I need to continually remind myself) that doesn't always mean what you might think. At first glance you might think that means you need to pack everything you would need for every possible scenario you might encounter on a trip... extra food, extra clothing, a backup for everything that might break. Being prepared is actually more of a state of mind. I'm not going into the backwoods of Alaska here, I'm going to be traveling one of the most heavily populated areas in the US. If I run low on food I'll stop for 10 minutes at a grocery store and reload. Heck, I can stop at any number of local restaurants on the way and let someone else cook me up a wonderfully filling meal for $10, who said that is against the rules? I make the rules and I make them as I go. I don't need to pack for every contingency, I need to Be Prepared for every situation. That is mostly a mental thing. Even if I wasn't traveling the asphalt trail I am confident that most of the things I need are available if I open my eyes to look. Have you ever seen what Bear Grylls packs for his wilderness adventures? Any doubt that he is prepared for anything with little more than a pocket knife and a flint?
I discarded the tripod to the side of the garage. It will be here when I get back. It turns out it just wasn't appropriate for this particular trip. If I get back in a couple weeks and decide I really missed it I'll figure out a way to bring it next time. Sometimes being prepared is having the patience to learn as you go. The protective case for the camera (which is what is going to allow me to bring the camera at all) and the GPS (which is going to make it possible to take the backroads and explore to my hearts delight) add to the trip. Most of the other things I have been worrying about won't. $10 says I wouldn't have bothered to break out the tripod even if I did go through the hassle to bring it.
So I'm getting back to the point- this is going to be an adventure. I have everything I need today, if I decided to go this afternoon (give me time to get some clothes and water packed) I can be on the road in an hour. That doesn't mean I'm being hasty, I just know the gear I need to rely on the most is already packed, I keep it between my ears.
But then things started getting complicated. I knew I wanted my tripod. After all, collecting images with my camera is one of the big goals for this trip. I also knew finding a place for the unwieldy tripod was going to be a challenge.
Then I started mapping my route. On my way north I wanted to stick to the coastal route, at least to start. First stop the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. Then up to the Lewes-Cape May ferry across the Delaware River. My goal was to try for about 300 miles per day. Henlopen State Park just before the ferry looked like a good place to stop over. That would mean camping gear and loading that on my bike isn't going to be easy. I do have camping gear but it isn't the best for hiking- ironically camping stuff gets more expensive the smaller and lighter it is. Adding camping gear to the mix meant finding a place for the tripod was going to be an even bigger challenge. Maybe I should get a new hiking specific model? Maybe a GorrilaPod which is a little easier to pack? I started watching the calendar and getting anxious, if I needed more gear I was going to need to order it now.
Then I came to realize I was loosing the point of the trip. So what if I don't have a tripod? I asked myself why I think I need it so badly. If I need a steady shot I'll improvise. If I want to get myself in a picture of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge I'll improvise or I won't get it, it won't matter. The Boy Scout Motto is "Be Prepared". I realized long ago (although I find I need to continually remind myself) that doesn't always mean what you might think. At first glance you might think that means you need to pack everything you would need for every possible scenario you might encounter on a trip... extra food, extra clothing, a backup for everything that might break. Being prepared is actually more of a state of mind. I'm not going into the backwoods of Alaska here, I'm going to be traveling one of the most heavily populated areas in the US. If I run low on food I'll stop for 10 minutes at a grocery store and reload. Heck, I can stop at any number of local restaurants on the way and let someone else cook me up a wonderfully filling meal for $10, who said that is against the rules? I make the rules and I make them as I go. I don't need to pack for every contingency, I need to Be Prepared for every situation. That is mostly a mental thing. Even if I wasn't traveling the asphalt trail I am confident that most of the things I need are available if I open my eyes to look. Have you ever seen what Bear Grylls packs for his wilderness adventures? Any doubt that he is prepared for anything with little more than a pocket knife and a flint?
I discarded the tripod to the side of the garage. It will be here when I get back. It turns out it just wasn't appropriate for this particular trip. If I get back in a couple weeks and decide I really missed it I'll figure out a way to bring it next time. Sometimes being prepared is having the patience to learn as you go. The protective case for the camera (which is what is going to allow me to bring the camera at all) and the GPS (which is going to make it possible to take the backroads and explore to my hearts delight) add to the trip. Most of the other things I have been worrying about won't. $10 says I wouldn't have bothered to break out the tripod even if I did go through the hassle to bring it.
So I'm getting back to the point- this is going to be an adventure. I have everything I need today, if I decided to go this afternoon (give me time to get some clothes and water packed) I can be on the road in an hour. That doesn't mean I'm being hasty, I just know the gear I need to rely on the most is already packed, I keep it between my ears.
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