Day 7: Vermilion to Jasper, Alberta via Edmonton

I'm in Jasper National Park! I made it. I'm staying at Whistler campground because, turns out, it's the only one open this time of year. It's nice but not as secluded as other campgrounds I've stayed at or as I was expecting. In fact Jasper wasn't as I expected either, much more a resort town than I would have imagined up here. When I rolled into town there were people everywhere. Some people bundled up like eskimos, others like they were headed out to the Jersey shore in the middle of summer. Tons of restaurants, as many gas stations as I've seen all though Canada, hotel after hotel. So I got gas and headed out the other end of town to find camping. On another day I would have embraced the moment and jumped in one of the corner restaurants but after such beautiful views, and for me the moment of finally getting here, I wanted to do my own thing in the woods. So I cooked up some beef stew, a little hot cocoa to celebrate and took some pictures. Oh, and there was a ton of cut wood at my site so I started a fire too, even though I hadn't paid for a permit but because it was cold. I had even offered to pay when I checked in but the guy said I'd have no way to get it to my site on the bike, it wasn't bundled. I could have argued I came prepared for such circumstances but... anyway it worked out as I am currently beside a toasty fire, at least until they throw me in jail for my lawlessness.

I think I just heard some wolves. Cool.

Edmonton worked out well. I got my tire, a change of oil and they bled my clutch. I was feeling much more confident in the bike after a once over and it always seems to run better after an oil change. They didn't wash it but I told them not to worry, I had intentions on getting it dirty again anyway. I have to say, Canadians love Tim Hortons. Place was mobbed at 12:15, lucky I got there at 12:05. Lines around the block to get into the drive through. It is good, I'll give them that but I had to get out, my idea to linger and kill some time thwarted by throngs of high schoolers.

Part of me can't believe I'm here, that I actually made it, and part says it's no big deal. I did become a little introspective on the last leg getting here today. I'm as curious as anyone as to what drives me on trips of thousands of miles, alone. I don't personally know anybody anybody else who does such things or even would want to really. Sometimes I think I'm looking for answers, and on past trips I've found them. Sometimes I think I want to prove something to myself, that I can conquer my fears or that I can rely on myself to survive. But those don't ring true for me this time. I haven't even come up with the questions yet and right before I came I finished a triathlon I thought I couldn't do.

Feel free to skip this if you're tired of my self indulgent rambling, there probably won't be any more actual trip details unless one of the wolves I heard comes wandering into camp. There have been many hours on the road to explore my thoughts so I'm going to write about one of those.

What stuck in my mind today is something somebody said to me a while ago and I thought I understood but haven't been able to resolve. They said, "If you don't find a way to open up to people you'll be alone and lonely your whole life." And that is probably true but today I was alone and lonely but not miserable. See, I'm really terrible at opening up to people, I do it all wrong, it comes across as awkward and strange. I tried to tell someone a few days ago that I missed them. I mean, I haven't seen a familiar face in a week and I'm a long way from home, any home I've ever had- but the way I said it came across awkward and desperate when it shouldn't have. Of course there was more to it than that but that's the broad stroke. I can't help but feel it would have been better left unsaid. And I guess that's my point, if I can get along just as well without subjecting people to the weirdness, what's the harm? So to my friends and family out there, know that I miss you and be glad I don't try to tell you about it :-)

Goodnight for now, feels like a cold one so I'm going to snuggle in early and try to stay as warm as I can.