On Moving...

My driveway is steep. Every pizza delivery guy who has ever faced it's bald slope and lived to tell the tale has mentioned it. In fact, everyone who has climbed it's craggy face has mentioned it. It was the first beast I had to tame when I finally got the nerve to take my motorcycle for a spin around the neighborhood. It makes moving furniture a beast few men have faced and none have been the same since. Standing at the top of the driveway you will see your reflection looking directly at you from the second story window, like a ghost floating in space.

...the main point here is that my driveway is steep.

But the driveway I can handle, I know what to expect. I climb it every day to get the mail. I mow the lawn around it once a week in the summer. I rode a recycling bin down it like a sled when we had 1/2 inch of snow a couple years ago. It has been a hard week and the driveway hasn't been the bugger. The hard part is saying goodbye to friends I've made over the years when I don't even have a good idea of what I'm getting myself into. I haven't really explained to anyone why I decided to move away. I can't explain it all, I don't know it all. Maybe one of these days I'll try to explain the parts I know. I can say I know I'm taking a risk and I'm only hoping it turns out to be worth it.

A neighbor came by on Sunday asking if I had sold my lawn mower. We were talking a little about my plans and he asked me, "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" That is a very good question. I think I responded "maybe" but it's not, it's "No. I went to a college that was out of my league. I took a job that wasn't related to my major. I fell for a girl that had no chance of working out. And currently I do not have a comprehensive plan for how my life is going to go. Apparently I am familiar with having no idea what I'm doing." I guess, "maybe" pretty much covers it.

It's scary to look ahead. I can only hope I'm making the right choice. It's sad to look back. Good times and bad times are back there waiting for me to uncover them. I read an article a couple weeks ago about a lady who has a disorder where she can remember almost every day from her life. From the article it seemed like a terrible thing for her.

Anyway, it has been a heavy week. Saying good-bye to people who are here, and to some who have already gone but my memory still tied them here. That's part of moving, sometimes you end up letting things go you wish you could keep, for better or worse.

KP

A Fresh Start...

I'm going to try to do a better job of keeping my blog updated with my day to day happenings. There are some big changes for my in the works- leaving people I have known for years and seen me through a lot. I'm hoping my blog will make it easier for them to see me off, at least to know I'm getting by. I'll also be meeting new people and starting a new stage so there should be plenty to write about.

For those who don't know I'll be moving from Raleigh, where I have lived for 7 years now, up to Massachusetts to take a job with IBM in a different area.

Paying for my lunch at the cafeteria today, the lady who checks me out every day said she was sad to hear I was leaving. I guess word is getting around. I'm sure she doesn't know my name and I didn't think she took much notice of me but I guess it goes to show sometimes you don't realize the effect you have on the world.

My intention had been to disappear mostly unnoticed. Go home Friday and show up Monday at a new place without missing a beat. I figured most people wouldn't even notice I was gone. I think I've done things like that before and people ended up a little hurt I didn't take the time to say goodbye. I'm going to try to do a better job at saying goodbye this time so people know how important they have been to me.

Also I could use a hand moving my junk :-p

myodesopsia

- a haiku

corner of the room
shyly avoiding my gaze
floater in my eye